MY STORY ​​written in free form
​my journey with mental illness begins very very early in my life at 3 years old. i was restless slept 4 hours per night very high energy i often would wander around exploring. I was once found walking down the street naked by my grand parent's who brought me home. It wasn't until i came into contact in a more socialised setting that my real issues were exposed. In kindergarten i was rambunctious and was well known by many members of the church we attended wich was also my school at the time. however my parent's saw things worse and saught proffessional help from a pill doctor from kindergarten until 1st grade we tried medicine patches that caused severe back swores burns. pills that i couldn't swallow but were snuck into my food. because i wasn't improving my parent's dicided a public school was best and off i went to cottage grove elementary were i was placed in a level 3 to 4 setting wich means most of my day was highly structured. i remember my parent's always telling the teachers in meetings that we don't care how smart he is we just wan't him to be able to socialize we don't care what his grades are. one of the things teachers did to address this was i got to go push less fortunate children in wheel chairs around the school as i was restless and literally couldn't sit still in class or focuse. i was placed in a level 5 special needs program at
hillside elementarty in Cottage Grove,MN 
2rd grade i managed to become the checkers champion of
the whole school however it was determined by the
district i needed more help because in was having
outburst getting in fights and needed smaller more
structured setting and that new place was Hillside
  consequences AND TRAUMA
They had 2 class rooms bundled into one
highly special needs setting with a hallway in between
where they had SQR silent quiet room where if you were out of control or mis behaving they would lock you in a 3by3 foot 12 foot brick walled room with magnetic doors on it and would use restraining methods were they hold your arms behind you. the most shocking method was were they would lay 3 large bean bags down lay you on top of them put 3 on top of you and literally sit on you i remember dillian he was a very tiny kid i remember him screaming he couldn't breath and he would almost always receive this type of treatment for his issues. i just remember how often i heard loud screams from the adjacent class room of the kids screaming i remember diloris she was wild and wasn't afraid to throw punches this is freaking 3rd to 6th grade kids mind you. mom would pick me up from school to go to childrens saint paul for proffessional help and i had developed closterphobia from being locked in those rooms and we would have to walk up 4 flights of stairs to see my pill doctor at that time. i had a counselor my parent's signed me up to talk to but refused to talk to him because i figured out he was telling my parent's how i felt so we stopped going as i wouldn't talk.

in 4th grade i met matthew waterhouse and became good freinds with him. i remember biking 4 miles to his house i biked everywhere as a kid my neighbor was a construction worker he saw me out biking alot and gave me his construction vest that i wore out biking. i remember when park high school was under construction and i watched them build the facility the workers told me someone was vandalising and if i saw anything to call the police so on the weekend i went there and climbed on the back hoe and bob cats i noticed damage i biked to city hall and told them the next day i went to go watch them the workers came over and thanked me and told me that damamge was already done and was welcome back anytrime i suppose this was when i became obsessed with heavy machinery. my dad had a harley davidson and we would go on rides. he joined a club that rides to soldiers funerals and holds flags up in silence and often made a human barrier for the families because people would protest war at a soldiers funeral. dad and i went on a weekend ride to red wing with a group to a bbq but my medication was causing me to fall asleep and dad always got scared but i couldn't help it he would trying nudge me or say matt well pull over in just a minute but my medication was strong and on the red wing trip a biker had a side cart and offered to let me sleep in the side cart for my safety. when we got to the guys house he was doing some construction and i got to operate a excavator with the guy it was freaking amazing. matt waterhouse and i had one major thing in common we both freaking loved dodgeball i swear the gym teacher loved us because there were times were it was me and waterhouse VS. an entire gym class 30+ we weren't even in there class but we were part of the group because they wanted us to socialise and burn off some energy. i remember MR kjos very vididely he was a major advocate in his teaching methods of i don't care about your grades focus on being able to socialise and being able to behave and he always had field trips for the class atleast once a month we went fishing, road a bus,made rockets. at the very end of 6th grade i was sleeping over at matts house and it was 530am his dad scott waterhouse came into matts bedroom with hair spray and a blow torch wooossh! and said do you guys wanna go to madison wisconsin and matt and i shot up out of bed and we got to the semi yard were he worked he said get in close curtian and don't come out until i ok you to. and when we crossed into wisconsin matt and i faught over shotgun so scott had us switch every 20 minutes i remember matt loved loved to rock he would sit in his chair up front i in the bunk and hewould rock back and forth. mind everyone this was saturday we wouldn't be home until sunday night. i had to call mom to get permission to stay at matts when we had church in the am. god was on my side that night she said yes and matt and i slept inbetween the 10 speed shifter and his dad on the single bed. when we got up we delivered the load and on the way home i had so much fun with matt and scott i promised scott i would be a truck driver and thus started the 9 year goal to fulfill a promise. 
in 7th grade i was in a level 3-4 setting with english main stream. The para assistant would come to english with me and take notes my soul goal was to sit and listen best i could. And i had anxiety issues very severe i was in several sports growing up including baseball football soccer. But because of my anxiety i couldn't be in group settings long and the main stream classes all did presentations but i couldn't handle them mentally so i did mine after or before school infront of teachers. I had one freind 7-9th grade i sat alone in the lunch rooms and treated anyone who sat next to me as a friend. By the end of 9th grade my promise was still intact while my freindship with matt was strained for many reasons. When i got to highschool i was placed into levels 2-3 and my social issues continued as i sat alone in the lunch rooms. High School was 10-12th grade. I remember getting terrible grades and was happy to just get an c or an b.  I was in 12th grade english with a 7th grade comprehension level and my teacher wasn't following my IEP and i was failing english and i ended up asking to go to the bathroom but walked to the school psycologist crying and telling her i was frustrated and failing english class because my IEP wasn't being followed and the next day i walked into english class and she said matt i need to talk to you and she was shocked i went to the psycologist and said i never told her and tried to negate the fact that i had and she was aware of my IEP and the last two cemesters of english i got two B'S because i was able to receive the help i was seeking to get but not allowed.

in the middle of 12th grade i was approached by the state of minnesota who works with volerable adults or high needs adults and they asked what i wanted to do outside of high school. I had told them i wanted to be a truck driver and they made a employment plan with me and i ended up doing some jobs to kill time until i was 21 to maintain my employment plan. iIworked at a car dealership as a service runner for 40 hours a week and i had a manager who didn't appreciate me and used a few ideas for self betterment of the service area without recognition towards me and during High School senior year 12th grade i developed an eye disease called uvitis and i was on the bus home and i always sat next to the bus driver talking to them i even a few times gave them directions and the young lady new something wasn't right asked if i was ok and i told her i literally couldn't open my eyes because the world was incredably bright mom took me to the eye doctor and i went through 5 glasses perscriptions and ended up needing shots into my eyes to stop the progression of the issue. The eye doctor told me i would need surgery at some point because the steroids have caused a permanent fog over my lense. and because of this i needed to see doctors frequently and had to take eye drops 5 times a day at the peak and everytime i had a doctors note my boss would be angry and he threatened to fire me because i wasn't attending enough work even though i had legitimate doctors notes for him.  I turned 21 and completed the requirements to get a full ride scholarship into trucking school i ended up going to interstate trucking school in south saint paul in 2015 and on 2/1/15 i got my CDL a 2006-2015 promise i made to a man who would change my life.

I ended up working for schnieder national on a dollar tree account and subbed on many other accounts to help them best i could i was living the dream but i wasn't quiet yet where i wanted to be and father actually quit his job of 20+ years as a company executive and opened a trucking company called Acreage trucking and started with 2 semi's and during my 6 months at schnieder he was able to get trained by another fedex contractor. I stepped down from schnieder national to take care of my deing grandpa John Mckay Butler i would take him to get his groceries at rainbow. Grandpa John had skizophrenia and he would offer to buy me and him lunch he loved wendy's and denny's a lot and he would buy 6-8                                                                                                containers of his green tea and he would ask about the craziest foods i'd ever heard in my life like 
 he would always ask                                                   about a cheese nut ball and fruit cake my life like he would always ask about a cheese nut ball and fruit cake he                                                            loved his sweets and every year for xmas we would all receive the same box of chocolates from him he refused to                                                           carry certain bills of money because his mind was stuck on the russians and he truly believed he saved a president                                                       and he even told me he had been taken by a UFO and they returned him. my grandpa would smoke 2 cartons of                                                        cigarettes a week but he was the most humble man you could ever meet i learned so much about homelessness                                                            from him and he never had a lot in his home or life but he was happy he had 2 lawn chairs with tube tv's on them                                                   both tv's on spanish mute for some reason and one tv had football on it and the other had stocks on it. he told me                                             he cheered for both teams so he never loses. my grandpa's dad is the inventor of cheerios he invented the baked                                                        mashed proccess for making cheerios. my grandpa grew up in massoula montana and is even in a book called flathead                                               lake on my mind by Steve Smith and Wayne Schile. My grandpa was a legend out there if you want to call it that. My grandpa and Steve were buddies since they were 6 years old.  I still keep In good contact with Steve Smith after my grandpa passed away and was burried in fort snelling 10/2015. I went to work with my father and his second trucking company called Exchange Trucking.  We did this for 3 months and it didn't work so i was moved over to my fathers company Acreage Trucking a contracted survice provider for Fedex Ground. This part of my life was the craziest most exciting time of my life i drove accross the lower 48 with my cousin and a few of his drivers every once in awhile and the videos you see up top are of me and my cousin just enjoying life and the dream came true.  Chris always carried a spray called chery bomb however i liked to sit up front with him to chat before sleep and when he wanted me to go to sleep he would cherry bomb me into the sleeper birth. One time i finished my shift started out in denver colorado and drove 742 miles in my shift and set a record between me and chris for most miles in a shift but when we pulled into the truck stop to get fuel our tanks were showing empty and they didn't have any diesel for us to fill up. Chris was going to kill me :) he had to drive 10 miles up the road to get fuel so i beat his record and left him with no fuel out of anger when we got back into the truck i sat down put my pop into the cup holder as were moving he opened the window and threw my pop out he said well thats my cup holder its my shift and you left me no fuel!

fast forward to 1/8/17:
We were in Flagstaff AZ

are truck broke down

and we were in the waiting area and i had just ate my pizza and all the sudden the world started spinning i said chris i am dizzy i grabbed him and i woke up with my tongue swollen and an ambulence in route and it turns out i had a seizure and my father was contacted and mother and father decided to fly me and chris home and when we got home i had an MRI done that revealed all my life long issues of behavioral mood swings asbergers anxiety depression it turns out the medication i had been taking had been connected to my frontal lobe i had been taking this medication for years but never noticed seizures and to some extent is responsible for preventing serious seizures but i stopped taking the medication because i felt i was compitent enough mentally to know if i needed to go back on my mood swing meds and the MRI revealed my frontal lobe didn't form properly from an embryo and the doctor told me i was done driving semi for the rest of my life and this is currently where i am at in my life basically the way my brain formed there is a hole in the frontal lobe causing siezures the doctor said he would not be suprised if i had a few thousand seizures in my sleep over 23 years to this writting he wouldn't be suprised and i am now seeking new employment and back to working with the state agency. Trucking was my answer because it isn't social its pretty much do your own thing and i didn't have a lot of customer interaction. I could take a leak without telling someone. I could take my lunch when i wanted to. 

i am very proud to say i worked and created my website for the betterment of society and i am so thankful i am able to focus on autism advocacy


-devoting time to the homeless and getting to know them on a personal level.

-focus on my community and have since joined an advocacy group for autism 
-re-think my future and understand its new route and ultimately understand my purpose. 
-i have begun to devote more time to my aging grandpa V. he is a stubern ole german ziga zaga oye oye 82 and mows his lawn! 
- developing innovative concepts for technology that will be influetial for educators businesses and leaders. 


    interviews, concepts, idea's, comments, education, research and data reviews
    mobile application creation for educators,families and businesses
  4. clothing brands
    allowing people with Autism to use there creativity to allow them to express them selves and show there strengths. using the funds of clothing sales to funnel money into the child's future through investing for the family to reduce the families burden as an adult.
  5. using funds from T-shirt sales to fund investment accounts for those with needs to reduce family costs upon adult hood